soon2bslimmy

last night, after my last post, i had so much chips and espresso ice cream it’s embarrassing! i had so much espresso ice cream that i didn’t fall asleep until 4:30 this morning, and i woke up at 7.  so yeah, i was tired when i woke up this a.m., but it wasn’t too bad.  i wasn’t tired from not sleeping so much as the work day was so hectic at work today.  everyone was frustrated with everyone, there was a shortage of workers, so i had to work harder especically. it sucked. oh well, it’s over now.

but i am really beginning to branch out again.  in college, i was to social butterfly, meeting friends here and there, going to barbecues, organizing parties and celbrating birthdays.  but now that i live on my own, a lot of depression and anxiety has hit me…

but today i went jogging with an old college friend, we jogged about 4 miles, i just felt bad because she really had to slow down her pace to keep up with me.  so i think i’m just gonna stick to hiking when it comes to working out with her.  we talked and chatted, and she lives so close by that we’re going to hang out more.  it’s really a change for me, because normally i’ve been just going home and isolating myself from the world…

i realize i can’t do that anymore, so on top of seeking weekly therapy, i’m looking into going to a church in my town (the church i’ve been going to is far) where i’ll go to bible studies once a week and meet friends there as well.  just be the life of the party again. oh, how i wish i were a child again and i had none of these complicated mental/emotional disorders….

today was quite good otherwise.  i ate my usual egg sandwhich (300k) then lunch i went to jamba juice with a coworker and i would estimate i had 300k.  then i had a granola bar for snack (140) then chips (400, eek!) and buffalo wings (200) and a rice drink (200).  so about 15-1600 k today.  little over than my goal, but i’ll get down to 1300 tomorrow.  since i’ve been talking to people about my problems and seeking therapy, i really don’t beat myself up when i mess up anymore.  i just take it with a grain of salt and use it to help me grow. 

so yes, tomorow i will eat 1300k and work out for an hour. i still need to journal a bit and spend time with God tonight, but that will be really good for me.